Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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