Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
