Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
