the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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