i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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