I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's just like the Real World with babies
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
