Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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