It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
