i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
