The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize