i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
