I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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