I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
