yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
