Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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