whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
