She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
