I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize