Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
