im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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