I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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