Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
