I think im going to throw up on grandma
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
