Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
