1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
