i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
