I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
cat food counts as protein by the way
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
