trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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