How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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