The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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