I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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