New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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