New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
