called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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