we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
