So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
