Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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