The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the day after is always just damage control
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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