me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
