so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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