***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize