I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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