A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
