from now on my penis is your penis
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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