that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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