i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
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