found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
