So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
