Tell her she can't have a vagina
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
