have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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