Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
