I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
