I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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