So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Your cock deserves a montage
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
