Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
