Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
