making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
